As a professional Shoe Tester, I try to keep heels above 8/10, and shadows below 17. This picture caused me to break my own rules, but the results were suitable for publication.
(Science makes me tired. I will now relax with a sea shell.)
138. Parma Ham
The other day we had paninis from Bar Italia for breakfast. The guy looked at me slightly oddly, I don’t blame him, everyone else in there at 7am was only ordering coffee. It was filled with parma ham, mozzarella, tomatoes (which I proceeded to pick out), and basil. It was a really good panini, great quality ingredients. I’ve never seen them slicing parma ham, I don’t know how they get it so thin. I love how they have to package it up with plastic sheets in between every slice though to stop it sticking together.
138 down, 1658 to go
Standard procedure for heat testing is outlined below:
Smelt burning rubber. Looked down. Foot was on the radiator. Melted the bottom of my shoe a bit.
Also part of one side of my headphones has fallen off and now when I try put that earplug in it attempts to spark.
Everything is trying to kill me. FML.
Often I test shoes from the London Shoe Shop, which specialises in shoes.
Very high-potassium Shoe Testing. Great work - 10/10
How to polish a shoe with a banana.
I haven’t tried this one, having (1) real shoe polish and (2) no taste for bananas. But feel free to give it a shot.
Of course, you’ll need to open the banana first.
When he’s feeling scientific, Tommy also does a little Shoe Testing on behalf of Betty Sizebottom.